“[g]ratitude which cannot rest or be confirmed until turned into praise, prayer, or some other expression” D. Lyles

That may be the first profound statement I’ve read in 2010. Not that anyone’s waiting in the wings on my stamp of approval.

It’s never dawned on me that “gratitude” is a state of being which can only be worn as a result of the VERB “thank.” The infinitive “to thank” is like the infinitive “to love.” Just as I can’t love you if I don’t prove it, I can’t thank you unless I prove it.

I guess that leaves me both depressed that I haven’t lived that way, and improved because I now can. Of course, I will most likely continue the depression because now that I have a deeper understanding (to an entry level), my past leads me to believe my future will be littered with the casualties of failed responsibility.

How many more people have I thanked than I have loved? How many new failures must I now face as a result of the realization that I have spoken “love” and “thanks” to well more people than I have loved and thanked?

I’m sure it’s number I never want to see.

Despite my past, or maybe because of it, I love you all and I thank you all. Of course, now I have to prove it, and I don’t know how. I really don’t.